Okonkwo's main goal is to rise in status as a great man (the opposite of what his father Unoka was) and, consequently, imposes a strict code of discipline on himself and his family in order to achieve his dream. Any affection that dares to well up within Okonkwo's heart, such as his favoritism towards Ikemefuna, is immediately stomped down by Okonkwo, who sees love as weakness. Fittingly, Okonkwo's treasured crop is the yam which the narrator describes as "a very exacting king" who demands "hard work and constant attention" (p. 28). Likewise, Okonkwo expects much from his family as seen in his harsh rebukes of Nwoye and Ikemefuna. Yet, Achebe reveals a flaw in this seemingly ideal Igbo man: Okonkwo easily loses self-control and reason due to his fear of failure. Although Okonkwo wishes to be fearless and strong, he dreads everything that is resonant of the mediocre and reacts as violently as someone with arachnophopia who sees a spider. For example, the narrator notes that "Okonkwo was not the man to stop beating someone half-way through" (p. 25), thus pointing out Okonkwo's lack of self-control, which is the hole in his otherwise solid wall of discipline.
The absence of love in Okonkwo's household is harmful for his wives and children. This is easily discovered since Okonkwo frequently destroys the peace of his home with his angry outbursts which are often accompanied by the beating of one of his wives.
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